Dixie Darr

Every Day is a Holiday

In solitude, spirituality on May 25, 2017 at 9:36 am

I won’t be spending Memorial Day or any other holiday in the foreseeable future with family. My brother and sister-in-law are the only family I have left here in Colorado except for a few miscellaneous cousins on Facebook. The truth is that I don’t really celebrate holidays. Since I no longer work, a holiday is just like any other day, but the library is closed.

When we moved to Denver on my third birthday, my dad said it was to get away from family. He also said it was to escape all the drinking, although since relatives were doing the drinking, it amounts to the same thing. So I grew up without any extended family and believing that family was not necessarily a good thing. I have no memories, fond or otherwise, of family holidays. I suspect I spent them reading in my room.

In my thirties and forties, I spent holidays with friends. I remember those mostly as an excuse to get high, and I don’t do that anymore.

These days, I normally resist any well-meaning efforts to involve me in someone else’s family dramas. While I adore spending time with one or two friends, after a couple of hours, I get a little frantic to escape back to my hermitage, my cat, and my books. I can take people, even those I love, only in measured doses.

Monday I will probably take a walk, read, write, nap with Radley, and read some more. Please don’t begrudge me my solitude. You may be surprised to learn that many women (it’s always women) who hear I’m spending a holiday alone tell me, “that sounds heavenly.”

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