March Madness Sadness Gladness

March is a confusing month for me.

Although March is historically our snowiest month in Denver, it is also the month when spring begins and flowers start to bloom, even in the snow. Actually, that’s a pretty good metaphor for the month.

My beautiful nieces were both born in March, and they have been bringing light into my life for more than 40 years. That’s the gladness. They live in Phoenix, so I don’t get to see them as often as I would like.

Sadness comes because both my mother and father died in March. My mother passed away on March 18, twenty-one years ago at the age of 67. My dad lived until age 90 and breathed his last breath on March 25 three years ago.

Maybe that’s why March Madness irritates me so much. First, CBS pre-empts The Young and the Restless for FOUR days to show some idiot basketball games. I don’t even like Y&R much anymore, but it’s what I use as background noise when I eat lunch and read.

In the middle of the basketball frenzy comes St. Patrick’s Day. How can the Irish be proud of a pseudo-holiday that’s celebrated in America by people drinking themselves stupid?

And speaking of people drinking themselves stupid, what can I say about spring break. When did it become a requirement for college (and now even high school) students to debark to Mexico to raise hell and party themselves into oblivion? Don’t get me started.

Let’s just say I’m happy April is just a few days away.

March Madness Sadness Gladness

March is a confusing month for me.

Although March is historically our snowiest month in Denver, it is also the month when spring begins and flowers start to bloom, even in the snow. Actually, that’s a pretty good metaphor for the month.

My beautiful nieces were both born in March, and they have been bringing light into my life for more than 40 years. That’s the gladness. They live in Phoenix, so I don’t get to see them as often as I would like.

Sadness comes because both my mother and father died in March. My mother passed away on March 18, twenty-one years ago at the age of 67. My dad lived until age 90 and breathed his last breath on March 25 three years ago.

Maybe that’s why March Madness irritates me so much. First, CBS pre-empts The Young and the Restless for FOUR days to show some idiot basketball games. I don’t even like Y&R much anymore, but it’s what I use as background noise when I eat lunch and read.

In the middle of the basketball frenzy comes St. Patrick’s Day. How can the Irish be proud of a pseudo-holiday that’s celebrated in America by people drinking themselves stupid?

And speaking of people drinking themselves stupid, what can I say about spring break. When did it become a requirement for college (and now even high school) students to debark to Mexico to raise hell and party themselves into oblivion? According to Time magazine, the debauchery started with the ancient Greeks and Romans  celebrating the vernal equinox. But American students have put their own special stamp on it, egged on by liquor companies, MTV and Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild notoriety.

These things make me happy that I’m not a teenager anymore. Maybe I should celebrate that this month, but mostly I’m looking forward to April.

The Nap Manifesto

Working at home allows me the luxury of indulging in to my natural tendency to nap. Mine are not the 20-minute “power naps” people boast about. My naps like to last about an hour and a half, which, it turns out is the time it takes to complete one cycle of sleep.

Of course, I don’t take a nap every day, although I’d like to. I’ve attended enough meetings and taught enough seminars at 1 p.m., right after lunch, that I know it’s a deadly hour. It seems to me that the cultures that have a general siesta in the early afternoon have the right idea.

Our society thinks nappers are lazy. Now science has the evidence to prove the case for napping. In her fascinating book, Take a Nap! Change your life, Sara C. Mednick, Ph.D. proclaims that napping “is free, it’s nontoxic and it has no dangerous side effects.” Instead, it will:

1. Increase your alertness
2. Speed up your motor performance.
3. Improve your accuracy.
4. Help you make better decisions.
5. Improve your perception.
6. Fatten your bottom line.
7. Preserve your youthful looks.
8. Improve your sex life.
9. Lose weight.
10. Reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke.
11. Reduce your risk of diabetes.
12. Improve your stamina.
13. Elevate your mood.
14. Boost your creativity.
15. Reduce stress.
16. Help your memory.
17. Reduce dependence on drugs/alcohol.
18. Alleviate migraines, ulcers and other problems with psychological components.
19. Improve the ease and quality of your nocturnal sleep.

Oh, yes. It also feels good. Right now, if you know what’s good for you, close your browser, find a comfortable spot and catch a few zzzzs.

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

Queen Bee

(Bee keeping) is an unruly, benign kind of agriculture, and making a living by it has such a wild, anarchistic, raffish appeal that it unsuits me for any other, expect possibly robbing banks.

Sue Hubbell A Country Year

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd made my list of all-time favorite books when I first read it several years ago. I have since discovered that every woman I know who read it also loved it, so I was delighted when I found the CD version on the shelves of my local library last week. Listening to the book in my car seemed like a great way to revisit a beloved book, and I’m enjoying it just as much the second time through.

In the spirit of synchronicity, I was not surprised to see a story about bees on CBS News Sunday Morning yesterday. According to the report, Bees first came to North America when the pilgrims brought them to Plymouth Rock. While most people fear bees and their potential stings, they may be a miracle wonder drug. Bee stings can alleviate pain from arthritis, headaches and shingles. Alexander the Great, Confucius and Hippocrates all used bee stings for pain.

You don’t have to get stung, however, to reap the benefits of bees. Bee pollen is widely touted (although not scientifically proven) to help with weight loss, relieving allergies, increasing energy and slowing the aging process. I swear by beeswax in my lip balm and hand cream.

When I woke up this morning with excruciating arthritis pain in one hip, I thought about bees. I don’t know a doctor like the one interviewed on the news, who keeps a box of bees in his office for application to afflicted human body parts. Nevertheless, I believe in signs, and I think the signs might be directing me to take another look at bee therapy. It couldn’t hurt.

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

Building Boxes

“I don’t feel alive unless I’m learning, moving, changing, growing.”

Eric McDougall

Thinking outside the box is one of those clichés that has been overused to the point where it has lost all its meaning. Now author Harry Beckwith says that we should forget about thinking outside the box because it’s just too hard. Instead, he suggests, we should push out the edges of our normal way of looking at things and grow our box.

“If you read Vanity Fair, read In-Fisherman. If you read Tattoo, pick up an Architectural Digest. If you read People, scan The New Yorker. If you attend the theater, catch a NASCAR race (not least of all, because of its immense appeal). If you’d never dream of watching ballet, listening to bluegrass, or going to a county fair, go.

Tinker with your box. Buy an orange sport coat and a pair of red suede shoes; see what changes. Grow a bigger box.”

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

Step Lively

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes too.” Anonymous

I started walking for exercise, but quickly learned that the benefits went far beyond the physical. Walkers have less incidence of cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes and other killer diseases. As a result, they live longer. Because walking increases the blood flow to the brain, it also alleviates depression and hones thinking skills. Walking, of course, is one of Julia Cameron’s basic tools for improving creativity in her classic book, The Artist’s Way. The others are morning pages and artist’s dates.

When I get stuck in a writing project or wrestling with some other problem, walking helps. Some speculate that the rhythmic and repetitive movement of walking balances the brain. I’ll buy that, and I will also argue for walking outside. Walking in nature activates the senses as I feel the wind and sun on my face, smell the roses or the river, see the changing seasons and listen to the birds. You don’t get that from using a treadmill and listening to your iPod.

It’s raining this morning, so I have to delay my walk until later. I will go out, however. Last winter, when a huge early snowstorm clogged our streets and sidewalks for weeks and made walking treacherous, I went more than a little stir crazy. No less a scholar than Soren Kierkegaard advised, “I have walked myself into my best thoughts.” Maybe your best thoughts are just a few steps away.

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

Take a break

“Your unconscious can’t work when you are breathing down its neck.” Anne Lamott Bird by Bird

Last night I tutored a 52-year old college student on her writing skills. She was frustrated because she earned a B+ on her latest paper and wanted to earn an A. She worked very hard, spending virtually all her non-work hours on her schoolwork. Unlike some students she didn’t seem to think that she deserved a higher grade because of the amount of work she put into an assignment. She sincerely wants to learn how to write better and is diligently using all the tools available to her, including me.

I applaud her for that. It sometimes seems to me that the students who need the most help are the least likely to seek it out.

Her husband, who accompanied her to our session, kept telling her she was working too hard, that she needed to take a break. Every time he said that, her mouth would clamp shut and she would glare at him. She was raised to be a hard worker, she said, and her response to any problem is to work harder.

Clearly, she is one of those people who can’t relax. WikiHow has a cure for that with their tutorial on How to Do Nothing. Here are some of their tips:

1. Plan ahead. Set aside time to do nothing and put it on your calendar
2. Let people know. Tell everyone that you’re unavailable.
3. Find a quiet, private place. This might be your bedroom, the backyard, or a local park. Find that place and go there.
4. Set your alarm. Set an alarm of some kind to go off when your “nothing” time is over, so that you don’t have to constantly look at the clock and count the minutes.
5. Turn off the phone. Turn off your cell phone, work phone, pager, PDA, Blackberry, computer and any other means of sending or receiving calls or messages. These distractions will only keep you from enjoying the nothing.
6. Sit by yourself. Feel the wind, the sun on your face. Listen to the rustle of the trees, birds chirping, water flowing. Avoid the temptation to turn on the TV, listen to music, write a note to yourself, get a bite to eat, or anything else.
7. Learn how to free up your mind. Clear your mind of all thoughts of work, worries, family, etc.

Serious workaholics will have to start with five minutes and practice until they can regularly do nothing for longer periods. Taking time off will increase your productivity, creativity, health and morale. Even God rested on the seventh day.

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

It’s a Funny Thing

“Humor helps.” John Cleese

This hasn’t been a funny week for me. While I was taking my 89-year old father to the doctor last week, a garbage truck demolished my car, which was parked innocently on the street. A few days later, we had to have my dad taken to the emergency room and he is still in the hospital with gall stones. Then I interviewed for a part-time contract position with a training company. It seemed like a perfect fit between my skills and interests and their needs, and it would have cured my current money woes. Unfortunately, they decided to go with someone who could work fulltime. Alas and alack.

Like Maya Angelou, I want “to thrive with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style,” but it isn’t always easy. When my own sense of humor gets buried under my sense of impending doom, I rely on others to, well, humor me. My current saving grace has been an audio book, No, I Don’t Want to Join a Book Club, by British author Virginia Ironside. The main character is an opinionated, contrary woman facing her 60^th birthday. Her comments on beginning old age make me laugh out loud.

When the book ends, I may have to finally watch Napoleon Dynamite, which everyone assures me is screamingly funny. Let me know if you have any other suggestions.

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

The Soul of Creativity

“There is no force more powerful than that of an unbridled imagination.” Michael Chabon, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

I had lunch with my friend Sheila last week and she reported feeling out of sorts. An ordained minister who started her own non-denominational church a year ago, she has the usual workload of preparing each week’s program, writing the bulletin, writing the sermon, providing pastoral care, conducting the Sunday morning service and all the other tasks, big and small, that preachers are (literally!) called to do. And yet, she has time on her hands. She said she finally realized that she needed to do something creative.

Her talents are so obvious that several years ago, I bought her a name plaque identifying her as Sheila Johnson, Artist. Sewing, painting, writing, doll making, and quilting are a few of her interests, but like most of us, she pushes them to the edges of her life, fitting them in around the “more important” things that fill her days.

Only when the need becomes overwhelming does she start a project. This time she turned to the canvas and made a tiny mixed media piece out of the parts of flowers. First, she rubbed in the yellow pollen from the center of a flower to create a sunny background. Minuscule blossoms became stars in the sky and a dried leaf turned into a bird. She coated the whole piece with acrylic to preserve it. Although she only spent about an hour on the project, it brought her a new, positive outlook and renewed energy.

I’ve heard similar stories from others and I could relate a few from my own life. We were all born creators, and our creative impulses will not go away if we ignore them. They will remain at the periphery of our consciousness nagging us until the day we die.

© Copyright 2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved

Fairy Godmother

“Help me be a blessing to someone today.” Morning prayer

My stepmother keeps what I call a “Fairy Godmother” bank account. When she inherited money from her sister, she put it aside in a special account that she dips into only to give to others that she wants to bless. I have been the recipient of her philanthropy as have most of her nieces, nephews and grandchildren. She gives to nurses at my dad’s doctor’s offices who go out of their way to be friendly and anyone else who she thinks deserves a reward.

I told her that when I grow up and can put away a little money after I pay my bills, I want to have a Fairy Godmother account, too.

“It’s not just money,” she reminded me. “You can bless somebody by smiling and being friendly, by baking them something special or giving them a bouquet flowers from your garden.”

She’s right. My friend, Jane blesses me occasionally with CDs of music, books and seminars. Members of my church reward me when they tell me that my column is the first thing they look for when the get our local paper. My writers group generously pass on tips and contacts.

Looked at from this broader perspective, we can all be fairy godmothers. Start now.

©2007 Dixie Darr. All rights reserved